NOTICE: Please take into account that this particular page is satirical, thus not all information is true. Theoretically, it should be deleted but I have decided to leave it up. Mysterious Editor (talk) 12:26, December 7, 2016 (UTC)

The SDMN ArmyEdit

With all the millions of fans it is inevitable for someone to ask: 'Who is your favourite Sideman?' If you answered Simon then congratulations! I have yet to decide. The choice is just so difficult. If you're as indecisive as I the list below should help. Following is the complete list of Sidemen and their respective armies:

  • Vikram Barn aka Vikkstar123's fans/followers - Vikk's Kids.
  • Simon Minter aka Miniminter's fans/followers - Minty Fresh.
  • Josh Zerker aka Zerkaa's fans/followers - Berserkers.
  • Harry Lewis aka Wroetoshaw or W2S's fans/followers - Blue Jumper (BJ) Boys/Babes.
  • Tobi Lerone aka Tobjizzle's fans/followers - Jisms. 'Spit Takers' has also been suggested after Tobi's revelation last year (2015), where he admitted to drinking his mum's spittle.

As with the majority of the armies the names (all besides JJ's), were selected from amongst the Sidemen's own most common phrases, swears/curses, best-known references, or were derived from their own names. Don't ask me where JJ got his I for 'integrity' from, nor the K for 'knowledge' as he tends to lack both. Good thing he's so strong, both in mind and body, or else KSI would hold no meaning whatsoever.

If you're wondering who the unacknowledged leader of the SDMN is you should look up what makes a natural leader. I'll save you some time: a natural leader tends to be the sort of person everyone around them is attracted to, wants to be friends with, and will include in every outing, get-together and party. Ask yourself who you think that is out of the 7 Sidemen if the answer isn't obvious enough. Think: who is the only person that can get Ethan into line when Behz is being recalcitrant? Who does JJ (secretly and openly), want to be? Who can ask for help from his friends (or his fans), only for all to line up around five city blocks? The leader has got to be Simon, but make sure you never mention it to him as he'll deny it. That's another way of knowing it, by the way.